Knowing When to Walk Away
Updated: May 23
Having recently cut all ties with my family of origin, I have moved from anger, shock, and loss to feelings of freedom, joy, and release. I no longer have to fear the adverse effects on my health that stem from thinking about or attempting to communicate with the people who dominated my life for far too long. I always wanted to help them, to teach them, to give them just another chance.
I admit that at age 51 I have given up hope for them and thus have given them up. They will never see things the way I see them. They will never understand what I have suffered and endured because of their choices. They refuse to see themselves implicated in the emotional abuse and the gaslighting that have damaged me in ways they do not fathom and that I have worked all my life to recover from.
They are all adults who refuse to take stock of themselves. They continue to choose willful blindness rather than doing the real and difficult work that is love.
If I have over-thought my choices, at least I have thought, and when it comes time for my life to end, I will not have participated in a pattern of hurting anyone.
So in 50 years, I have learned how to walk away from the people and the situations that are not good for me.
So I heal. So I begin to entertain the question, “Where to now?”
Although I don't rely on magazines for advice, here's a pretty good perspective on cutting ties with toxic family members: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/women-autism-spectrum-disorder/202008/5-signs-its-time-cut-yourself-your-toxic-family